ICICI BANK--SHODDY SERVICE

A few days back I went to ICICI BANK on MG ROAD to cash a cheque. As I entered the air conditioned bank, a security guard with a rifle on his shoulder asked me what I want and I told him I want to cash a cheque. Immediately a lady staff appeared at my side, took out a print out of my token number, gave it to me and requested me to sit pointing out to a row of chairs.
I sat down and looked around. The bank was fully air conditioned and a lady cleaner was wiping the already shining floor. The bank appeared to work efficiently. They were smartly dressed. The manager was sitting in a closed cabin. He had a noticeably big stomach. I thought he must be paid well and must be eating and drinking well. Ofcourse, he was not exercising. He appeared to be busy. He opened one drawer and closed it with a bang. Then he opened another drawer and again closed it with a bang. Then he shifted some papers from one side of the table to the other side of the table. He again shifted some papers from the other side to this side. Then peered out of the glass partitioned cabin. After some time came out of the cabin, mumbled some thing to the lady sitting outside and walked out of the bank with his big stomach. As I watched all this drama played by the manager 10 minutes of my time had alreadly elapsed sitting inside the bank doing nothing.
I then shifted my at attention to the calling of the token number. There was a metallic sound and a token number will appear on the CRT monitor. The customer with that number will go to the counter. I watched this for quite some time. The whole process appeared to be very efficient. I passed some more time watching the CRT monitor and admiring all the new generation banks. Another 10 minutes passed. My token number was not appearing on the monitor.
I was getting impatient. 20 minutes have passed and my I was not being called. I have been to many banks in my life time and I have never waited so long to cash a cheque. I looke at my watch again and 30 minutes had passed. Something snapped inside me. I became furious. I went straight to the MAY I HELP YOU counter and told loudly to the man that I have wasted 30 minutes inside the bank for cashing a cheque and I demanded to know the reason. He told me to go to one of the cash counter and ask. I went to the nearest counter and repeated the same thing very loudly. All the bank customers were looking at me. The cashier took my token and gave the cash without a word. I said thank you and walked out briskly.

BUYER BEWARE

A few years back, I wanted to buy an LCD PROJECTOR. After going through the literature of many brands, I finaly decided to buy PHILIPS PROJECTOR. They had indicated that the lamp in the projector will work for 6000 hours while other companies like Sony, Hithachi, Cannon, Ask, Panasonic etc. assured that their lamps will work for only 3000 to 4000 hours. Based on the written assurance by the multinational company PHILIPS, I bought twoprojectors at a very high price.
To my shock the lamps of both the projectors worked only for about 1000 hours. The dealer said that he could not help me in any way because the warranty is only for 3 months or 500 hours which ever is earlier. I was absolutely helpless. How can I fight a multinational company in a court of law because I didn't have the resources. So I coughed up Rs.54000 and replaced both the lamps.
Once again the replaced lamp of one PHILIPS projector stopped working just after 1000 hours. Actually there is a cracking sound and smoke comes out of the projector and you know the lamp is gone.
Now I don't want to replace the lamp at high cost of Rs.27000. I want to buy another projector not from PHILIPS but from some other company which will not make preposterous promises to hood wink gullible buyers. I was explaining my bad experience to a salesman of another dealer. He told me that PHILIPS took me for a jolly good ride. He asked me whether I will believe a company which advertised a car that will run for 45 km. per litre whereas other companies advertised their cars will run for only 15 or 18 km. per litre.

PAINTING THE GATE

There is a common gate at the entrance of our building through which all of us have to pass to enter our flats. The gate was painted many years back and it was badly rusted. The residents were at logger heads with each other and they could not take a decion to paint the gate.
Therefore, one day I decided to paint the gate myself. As I was painting, the following comments were made by the residents:
" You should scrape the gate, apply primer and then paint."
"Oh the painter has come."
"We need sombody to paint our house."
"Are you the owner of a flat or a tenent?"
"If you pay Rs.50 you can get somebody to paint."
"You should not use blue and white. The best colour will be black."
To my surprise not one resident offered to help.

WAITER

I walked into a vegetarian restaurant near north overbridge, ordered for iddilies, sambar and tea. An arrogant looking waiter brought my breakfast and I started eating. After a few silent minutes, I heard a loud voice behind me. " Why are you taking such a long time to bring my breakfast. Are you making all this delay because I ordered for only two iddilies?" The arrogant waiter showed a disgusted face at the customer. The customer became furious. He screamed, " why are you looking at me with disgust. I am paying only for the iddilis and not for your monkey face. If you show that monkey face again I will give you good kicks. You be careful." The waiter quickly brought his iddilis.